Blame
by Sesura
Summary: A darker take on what Sveta might have thought in the aftermath of the grave eclipse. One shot. Complete. Rated T.


Hey guys! This is my first Fanfiction, so please don't hate to much. Of course, constructive criticism and tips are always useful and appreciated. Just as a side note, this is from Sveta' s prospective, and of course, disclaimer to Golden Sun. Hope you enjoy it!

I lay staring up at the ceiling, arching high above me, completely alone in the massive room of the castle that surrounded me. The only thing I thought was that I deserved this, that it was my irrational decisions that had forced the misery of an entire continent on me, and on me alone, and rightfully so. Every night, I woke up from hellish nightmares occupied with the screams of those that were slaughtered, those that somehow survived, and were scarred for life at the site of the horrors the grave eclipse brought with it, and the screams of the people who had to watch their families be eaten, ripped apart, and brutally eviscerated by the creatures that were possessed with an unimaginable darkness, hate, and malice. All of which were brought forth by me. My decisions. My actions. I single handedly brought forth the destruction of countless lives, the destruction of masses of cities, the destruction of an entire country. Of an entire continent! All of these thoughts swirled around in my brain, manifesting as nightmares and hallucinations so real, the only way that I could tell the difference between them and reality if seeing if all of people of her beloved country aren't rotting corpses, strewn throughout the streets and paths, unable to move as ruthless beast slowly tortured them while them screamed out in agony forever. To not see the sky painted as a endless black, stretching on forever, devouring my every thought of possible comfort or happiness in this tainted world. To not slowly turn around to see my allies, no, her freinds, relentlessly bringing down their blades and their fists on me, beating me within inches of my life, as the planet slowly begins to crumble away, eventually leaving nothing but an endless abyss to seemingly swallow my heart and soul. My twisted imagination and reality blended together so seamlessly, life seemed like a horrible dream that I could wake up from if only I could just die. And yet, I knew I couldn't. I had a duty to every man, woman, and child that died during the grave eclipse to live on, shouldering this burden, and rebuild the country that I so foolishly destroyed, repay the lives that I so foolishly took. I would live out the punishment that I, and only I, was sentenced to. And whenever I thought that I wasn't completely alone in this burden, that I had to deal with circumstances that were out of her control, they were immediately banished from her head, restricted by reality and truth. If I had decided not to lie to Matthew's group, to not manipulate them for my own reasons, to just trust them during the one time that it mattered, none of those uncontrollable circumstances would have arisen in the first place. Based on Matthew's retelling of the story, they were always just a little bit to late to prevent the wrong thing from happening. If I had helped them, then they would have gotten the rock feather without ever discovering the Magma Orb, and the Alchemy Dynamo would never have been powered, which meant Luna tower would have never been activated. And my brother would have never died trying to save me becuase I wasn't strong enough to withstand the light. No matter how much I tried to escape this realty, I couldn't, because there was nothing beyond it. No reassuring revelation. No sudden understanding. No acceptance. That truth, that filled my broken and shattered mind, the fueled my nightmares, was the only thing left to hold on to. Because without it, I would be nothing. Just an empty husk of a brash and foolhardy princess. But then again, wouldn't that just be so much easier than being the new queen of Morgal who was devastated by the eclipse and ruined by the fact that her brother is dead, staying awake all night because she's afraid of going to sleep? No matter how many times I ask myself that question, the answer is always the most obvious one. The answer that reassures my most hated memories and my most feverent hallucinations. Of course it'll be easier. And that why you can never have it. lay staring up at the ceiling, arching high above me, completely alone in the massive room of the castle that surrounded me. The only thing I thought was that I deserved this, that it was my irrational decisions that had forced the misery of an entire continent on me, and on me alone, and rightfully so. Every night, I woke up from hellish nightmares occupied with the screams of those that were slaughtered, those that somehow survived, and were scarred for life at the site of the horrors the grave eclipse brought with it, and the screams of the people who had to watch their families be eaten, ripped apart, and brutally eviscerated by the creatures that were possessed with an unimaginable darkness, hate, and malice. All of which were brought forth by me. My decisions. My actions. I single handedly brought forth the destruction of countless lives, the destruction of masses of cities, the destruction of an entire country. Of an entire continent! All of these thoughts swirled around in my brain, manifesting as nightmares and hallucinations so real, the only way that I could tell the difference between them and reality if seeing if all of people of her beloved country aren't rotting corpses, strewn throughout the streets and paths, unable to move as ruthless beast slowly tortured them while them screamed out in agony forever. To not see the sky painted as a endless black, stretching on forever, devouring my every thought of possible comfort or happiness in this tainted world. To not slowly turn around to see my allies, no, her freinds, relentlessly bringing down their blades and their fists on me, beating me within inches of my life, as the planet slowly begins to crumble away, eventually leaving nothing but an endless abyss to seemingly swallow my heart and soul. My twisted imagination and reality blended together so seamlessly, life seemed like a horrible dream that I could wake up from if only I could just die. And yet, I knew I couldn't. I had a duty to every man, woman, and child that died during the grave eclipse to live on, shouldering this burden, and rebuild the country that I so foolishly destroyed, repay the lives that I so foolishly took. I would live out the punishment that I, and only I, was sentenced to. And whenever I thought that I wasn't completely alone in this burden, that I had to deal with circumstances that were out of her control, they were immediately banished from her head, restricted by reality and truth. If I had decided not to lie to Matthew's group, to not manipulate them for my own reasons, to just trust them during the one time that it mattered, none of those uncontrollable circumstances would have arisen in the first place. Based on Matthew's retelling of the story, they were always just a little bit to late to prevent the wrong thing from happening. If I had helped them, then they would have gotten the rock feather without ever discovering the Magma Orb, and the Alchemy Dynamo would never have been powered, which meant Luna tower would have never been activated. And my brother would have never died trying to save me becuase I wasn't strong enough to withstand the light. No matter how much I tried to escape this realty, I couldn't, because there was nothing beyond it. No reassuring revelation. No sudden understanding. No acceptance. That truth, that filled my broken and shattered mind, the fueled my nightmares, was the only thing left to hold on to. Because without it, I would be nothing. Just an empty husk of a brash and foolhardy princess. But then again, wouldn't that just be so much easier than being the new queen of Morgal who was devastated by the eclipse and ruined by the fact that her brother is dead, staying awake all night because she's afraid of going to sleep? No matter how many times I ask myself that question, the answer is always the most obvious one. The answer that reassures my most hated memories and my most feverent hallucinations. Of course it'll be easier. And that why you can never have it.


End file.
